What is postpartum depression, how it manifests itself in men?
- Depression after childbirth: what is this phenomenon?
- What causes this condition?
- How does this state: the main symptoms and signs
- What to do: how to get rid of the doldrums?
- How dangerous such a condition: the possible consequences
Postpartum depression in women - a phenomenon quite common.But this state can be subjected to men, even though it may seem strange.This phenomenon is not to be considered not serious, it can lead to tragic consequences, so it is important time to recognize it and take action.And how and why there is manifest postpartum depression in men?
Depression after childbirth: what is this phenomenon?
Postpartum depression - a condition occurring in approximately 10-25% of women (such figures are approximate and were obtained from studies conducted in different countries).But according to statistics, from 4 to 10% (again, in different countries, the data may be differe
This is due the phenomenon of variables associated with the appearance of a child.Such changes are cardinal, because the wife used to live for each other, accustomed to freedom.And suddenly there was someone who takes almost all my free time, crying disturbs sleep and do the usual chores.It can not go unnoticed.And if some getting used to a new life quickly and without losses, others painful and long time get used to a new role, which leads to depression.
itself depression - a serious condition, and in some countries it is regarded as a disease, requiring correct and timely treatment.And when you consider that there is such a thing after the appearance of the baby, when you need to think about and take care not only about themselves, but also to the child, it is impossible to underestimate the seriousness in any case.
What causes this condition?
For what reasons there male postpartum depression?It should list them:
- Unwillingness to serious changes in my life.If a woman is getting ready for the appearance of the baby throughout the pregnancy, the majority of men are not aware of what changes are coming.Such is the nature and psychology of the representatives of the strong half of humanity, this is impossible to do anything.
- mismatch of expectations and reality.Men think that after seeing lovely creation, immediately penetrate deep feelings for him and will be touched.In fact, in most cases, all is not so.Yes, when the baby is quiet, she smiles or makes funny sounds, all this is emotion (but even in such cases, not at all).But when the baby starts to cry, cry, drool everywhere and constantly dirty diapers, all trembling somewhere disappears.As for his father's instinct, it is quite different from the mother and develops immediately after birth, and sometimes years after the birth of the child, when the child begins to speak and learning to express their feelings.And some of the manifestations of this all my life instinct and do not feel.
- banal fatigue.If tiredness turns into chronic, it can not affect the operation of the nervous system, which need to rest.Lack of sleep, fatigue, inability to spend a few minutes in silence - all this affects the mood and condition.Fatigue can accumulate for months and act as a time bomb, and can literally eat a person inside.
- Increased demands on the couple.Sometimes women are too much demand on their husbands, believing that all the joys, sorrows, worries and difficulties to share in half.But representatives of the strong half of humanity is sometimes difficult to get used to the new role, it is difficult to develop new obligations.And that's OK, because communication with the child and care for them - it's a great responsibility, which can put pressure on the male psyche.
- important role is played by factors such as the longing for a past life, and understanding that it is already in the past, as well as clearly and realize the perceived limitation of freedom.
- Lack of attention from his wife.With the advent of a child a woman devotes all his time to it.At the time of her husband almost does not remain.And the husband, accustomed to the care and affection on the part of the woman he loved, will suffer from this.Many are well aware of, but because of the easier this becomes.It used to be hugs, kisses, bye, full and varied sex life.And suddenly, everything changed, and it will disturb and oppress man.
- Worries about lack of material resources for child and wife all necessary.It is also concerned about the man and crushes him.
- Changes in the appearance of his wife.If, before the appearance of in the child's wife always looks after himself and the family was compelling in all situations, after the baby's birth time on trivial procedures related to self-care, can not stay.And the figure after giving birth, many changes.Men need to get used to this.It is believed that a husband should love his wife any, but because men love the eyes, that is their nature.So what changes in the appearance of the woman he loved, too, affect the condition and mood of the men.
How does this state: the main symptoms and signs
Some men try to hide their feelings and keep everything to yourself.Yet there are certain signs by which you can identify deviations:
- Quarrels and scandals.This is the first and most obvious sign.Few can restrain the feelings and emotions.Quarrels may arise almost from scratch, for example, due to the unwashed dishes or because of not timely prepared dinner.And since the state of both spouses is very tense, the scandals can be serious: insults, mutual reproaches and humiliations.
- man spends little time with the child or does not want to do that.If a spouse wants to communicate with the baby if it is interesting and necessary, he will try to spend as much time as possible with the child.But depression such communication will seem burdensome and meaningless, so the husband will try in every way to avoid contact with the child.
- spouse can stay at work and look for any excuses not to attend the house.Previously, this was not, then there is reason to think.
- fatigue, fatigue.Depression - a serious burden not only for the nervous system, but also for the whole body, so that a man may feel tired and weary, even in the morning and after a rest.
- Apathy.Lack of desire to do anything and take - a clear sign of the doldrums.On the job the man will go without desire, other worries, too, will seem pointless and burdensome to him.
- Irritability.Any detail can output newfound father of himself, he will respond to all urgent.Restrain yourself is very difficult, so it is not difficult to notice this symptom in depression.
- Sleep problems.They arise due to the stress and many thoughts that constantly revolve in the head man.
- insularity and remoteness.If a man does not share the news, does not tell about what is happening in his life, and not particularly interested in what is happening in his absence at home, that is a reason to think.
What to do: how to get rid of the doldrums?
struggle with depression - is not easy.It is important to do the right thing and work together.This means that both spouses must change ourselves and try to change your family life.
This is what should be taken:
- The first and most important step - a frank conversation heart to heart.We need to talk and express all that worried, talk about their experiences and to find solutions to all problems.
- needed rest, so that a man should sleep and relax (as a woman).How to achieve this?You can set the duty schedule and assign responsibilities.So, one night stand is the husband to the baby, and the other will do the spouse.
- Men need private time and private space, so that the wife should allow the beloved sometimes watch TV or meet with friends.But the husband should realize that the second half is also in need of this, everything must be mutually and equitably.
- woman should take care of yourself, spouse at the same time need to understand that to bring myself up will require time and effort.If the husband will support his wife and let her half an hour to pay for the personal care, soon everything will return to normal.
- very important to take care of each other.Smart man realizes that his beloved may simply not have enough time to cooking.A wise woman will do everything to the spouse does not feel deprived.For example, hugging and kissing the baby does not prevent.
- Communication with your child will quickly get used to the new role of the father and to get used to it.And then important to support the couple.It can show and tell how and what to do unobtrusively and gently adjust the action inexperienced dad.In this scenario, the man soon acquire all the necessary skills and abilities and it will do it with pleasure.
- important and need to spend as much time at home as possible.There is much to walk together or even go to another city for a few days to change the situation.Hanging unites and helps to realize that now the family of three, and that's great!
- should be interested in the life of his wife and baby.A wife might even have to talk about how her day went, what's new and interesting to make a baby.But constantly to talk about Chad does not mean it can stretch.
- important to communicate more.Spouses should be interested in each other's lives.
How dangerous such a condition: the possible consequences
If time does not recognize male depression and did not take action, thenit could face serious consequences. Some simply do not stand up and leave the family.Others seek comfort and diversity "on the side", that is with another woman.
will suffer and the child.Frequent scandals and quarrels extremely negative impact on the child's psyche.Let the child is quite small and does not understand the words, but the screams he hears well, and they are afraid of it, as well as state of the mother (the children feel emotionally their mothers).
Forbearance to all parents!